Many parents may make the mistake of wanting to achieve with their children what they themselves have not achieved for some reason.
Becoming a parent is not a one-step process and does not necessarily begin when the baby is born. But what we imagine before our children are born and what the reality is can be very different. We want to teach our children all that is beautiful and good, but we still lie to them and deceive them by letting them into reality after being raised in a sheath. As we know life is much harder than we could imagine many times.
Our goal would be to lead our children on the path they have a place to take. It is necessary to help and support them in this. Sometimes their lives don’t even look like their parents ’lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good and not walkable. So the most important thing a parent can do is raise their child in love and provide encouragement and support. Even if that’s the intention, in fact, a lot of parents do just the opposite.
We hear and read from many places that we should help our children with words of support such as “You did well !, you are good !, I’m glad you did!”. In reality, however, not all children can experience this, because parents try to lick and heal their own wounds.
Where does love come from?
How we nurture our adult lives and relationships also depends a lot on what we learned in our childhood. We carry this forward as a parent, that is, this knowledge is inherited for generations. Of course, we have the opportunity to make changes, just as our children will be able to do. In fact, if a child can’t or doesn’t want to identify with it, you can represent something completely different as an adult. As a result, many young people experience their parents ’behavior in a way that they will behave differently.
It's not that simple
If, as a young person, we think the teaching that our parents represent is inappropriate and then we show that it can be done differently, perhaps we are only confronted with outward insight that it is not really that easy to let go of it, to do it differently. The identities with our parents are most likely to be brought to our attention by our partner.
What kind of parent is a good parent?
By no means is oppression, the humiliation of self-confidence, typical of these parents. A good parent encourages his child, teaches him independence. A good parent doesn’t mean you allow everything. It sets boundaries that it adheres to, but it can handle them flexibly. Motivate and encourage your child.
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(Source: marmalade.co.hu | pictures: pixabay.com)